Tuesday I was holding the ladder for my neighbor while rubbing suntan lotion on his wife when a thought came over me.
When you get a politician or a news anchor away from the teleprompter, their vacuity of logical oration is astounding and yet someone always listens, which is yet more amazing. 
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  I was washing my car the other day, while towing my neighbors’ wife on her water skis, when a thought came over me.
It seems that every administration is the most transparent in history, it makes one wonder if they truly understand the definition.

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 I happen to be at a rattlesnake roundup the other day while breaking in a new pair of flip flops, when a thought came over me.
I find it rich that when I hear the term “misogynist pig” it’s generally spewed from the vile lips of a “misandrous termagant”.
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Yesterday I was poking at a hornets nest with a stick while feeding my neighbors goat when a thought came over me.
I hear many politicians and news people use the Phrase, “Let me be clear” It gives one pause, just how long have they dawdled in a fog of delusion.
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   I was on the freeway the other day measuring the length of center stripes, when a thought came over me.
What would have happened yesterday If the events of tomorrow were known today?
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 I was walking along the railroad tracks the other day picking up the loose spikes holding down the rails, when a thought came over me.
Humanists are rioting like spoiled brats after the election; I guess when your life is lost and barren and the single faith you have is placed in man what a shock to discover that your certainty is as fleeting as your existence.
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 Last Saturday my neighbor asked me to care for her pet pig, and while I was digging the hole to get the luau started a thought came over me.

Nov. 20th, 2008 the world came to an end for some people, on Nov. 20th, 2016 the world is ending for some others, and yet we are all still here so take solace in the thought that in some countries you would not.
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 A week ago Saturday I was mowing my neighbor’s lawn and while trimming my toenails, a thought came over me.
We seem to spend an inordinate amount of time wrestling with Satan, how poignant that winning is known to so few and losing is eminent to so many.
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 Saturday I went deep sea fishing and while as I was taking notes on the premise if raspberry jam tasted the same going down as it did coming up, a thought came over me.
It’s possible I’m the square peg in a round hole, or could it be that the sophisticated civility crooned by todays elitist; which likens themselves to modern day Pharisees whose pertinacious tenets are wholly contrived from man for which their armor is as thin as their sensibilities, is only tuned for the piper of humanism.
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 Day before yesterday I was exercising my neighbors’ dog and while carefully obeying the speed limit a thought came over me.
With all the protests our liberal misguided brethren are participating in, how do tv hosts like Jerry Springer find anyone to participate in his audience.
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 Saturday I went with my neighbor who entered into a strong mans competition and while keeping his wife content giving her a back massage a thought came over me
Does the progressive liberal mindset really think they can do no wrong or is it possible they live in a world that has no right.
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 Last weekend I was setting up targets for my girlfriend to shoot at and while dodging her stray bullets a thought came over me.
Such a shame that pro-abortionist did not have parents of like mind.
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 Last Sunday a man was listening to the pastor’s sermon and while he counted the gray hairs on the congregant seated in front of him, he began to ponder.
I attend church, I’m a good person so heaven is a certainty for me, or could it be a toll way.  So, do you have your token, to be sure answer the knock at the door.
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 I was enjoying my bubble bath very much last week and while I was chatting with the lifeguard a thought came over me.
I remember watching matinees on Saturday afternoon, looking up to Hoppy, Gene and Roy, wanting to be a rootin tootin, straight shootin cowboy buckaroo, do you?
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 I was driving my friend’s brand new corvette and while inspecting that the aglets on my shoelaces weren’t frayed, a thought came over me.
It seems that temperance in some church doctrines tends to have parishioners hopelessly wandering in a fog of Christian mediocrity.

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Last night my girlfriend wanted to fly to Vegas and elope, so as I was driving myself back home from the airport a thought came over me.
Why do liberal politicians purport that we are a “nation of laws” then only want to enforce laws when it pertains to actual citizens like you and me?
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 This morning I was at my neighbors making an early breakfast; and while being very careful not to awaken their pit bull, a thought came over me.

I guess when you mention to a woman on your first date that the “special someone” your looking for needs to have a strong work ethic, cleans, cooks and muzzles easy is a bit out of line and costly, especially at the emergency room.
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I was plucking a few wild hairs out of my ear and an hour later I started on the other ear when a thought came over me.
It seems that Liberal “Humanist” are terrified to have any goodness bestowed upon the populace by the Trump administration, I guess when you live in the dark you want all to be as lost and miserable as you..

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Yesterday I was “sweating to the oldies”, suddenly I got an awful cramp in my big toe from keeping beat to the music and then a thought came over me.
s it possible for a liberal pundit to remember anything other than Michelle’s smile between 2009 -2017
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A few weeks ago I treated my girlfriend to a cruise, and just as we were getting our burgers from the car hop a thought came over me.
There really are people out there who are “teflon” slick and seem to be able to do as they wish with no consequences, thankfully when the time comes our Lord has the perfect solvent.
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 I happened to be at Walmart the other day and as I was laughing at how this old fart was dressed, and as I bent down I suddenly realized it was me in a mirror, just then a thought came over me.
I remember a few Proactive axioms,  improvise, adapt, and overcome (USMC)…Be prepared (Boy Scouts)…the weaker mind reacts (Unknown)…Deal only from strength (Unknown)…You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do (Carl Jung)… then there is the Reactive option….join the DNC.
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 Last week I was sipping on a very expensive glass of wine while watching a huge 98 inch flat screen tv and just as my neighbors came home unexpectedly a thought came over me.
I was taught growing up to be respectful, obey my parents, minister, teachers and the grownups didn’t cuss and act like Fools around women or kids…what happened…Oh yea Liberalism happened.

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A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or re-interpret the first part which explains my warped sense of humor.

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